Wednesday, March 5, 2008

I Am Wearing Clothes from Walmart (Day 9)


Just when I thought SoDak couldn't hand my azz to me anymore, it rose up and unleashed its angry fury. So here's the latest: I worked until 9 (insert the Ferris Bueller recording "nine times" here) and when I emerged from my bookish cave there was a fresh layer of snow beautifying the parking lot. "Oh shit!" I exclaim, having not been outside for hours (while in book cave) I was caught with my pants around my ankles. So be it, I thought, I'll drive home anyway. But first, I called 5-1-1 to double check road conditions. They said visibility was a half mile to a mile, I can handle that, so armed with Diet Coke in hand I sped off.

I'm trucking along, sure it's snowing, but come on. Then it got worse and now I can't even see what is road and what is stinkin' not-road so I slow down. Then a hateful semi passes me and all I see is white, I am in a cloud. This isn't cool as I am driving over a bridge at the time (note sign before bridge: "Caution Ice on Bridge"). Oh sweet jeezus, help me. I steer through it, as if hitting a deer (don't remind me, that experience ruined my ability to drive in the plains). I come up for air and now the snow is blowing up my nose and I hit an icy patch and fish-tail.

Gawd-damn-it!

My nerves are shot. My palms are slick on my steering wheel, glistening with sweat. I pull over at the next rest stop in (yeah, seriously, this is town here) Nunda Ward. I sit there for say, 15 minutes, collecting myself. I hop on my B-Berry and gather information (tis my way) and discover that I am only 11 miles out of Brookings (where I began said evil adventure) and it's been 25 minutes. After much swearing (see Christmas Story, when the furnace goes out kinda swearing) I slowly pull back onto the interstate 29 (nope, no side roads between towns here) and brave it. I drive 30 mph, as does everyone else with a brain therefore all the pickup and semi drivers speed on by. Crunts.

What next? I returned to Brookings and spent over an hour in Walmart assembling something to wear for today. I am okay with wearing my jeans another day (it's like camping) as I am wearing lace-up Fleuvogs so a skirt is outta the question. So I found a top that I slapped under a sundressy thingy (yes all black), grundies, sundries, etc. It took an HOUR though. Dang.

What I learned at Walmart: they have everything there. Ab-so-lute-ly every thing.

Next step: hotel. I picked the Starlite thinking it'd be skanky and what better way to top-off this most excellent experience. Turns-out it was okay, decent, even. That was a tad disappointing, but hey, I'm a state employee and I got a state rate of $45/nite. Bring it on!

Above is a photo of the approximate area I'll be living in when I move. Just a week and a half now, thank gawd.

I'm off to a faculty meeting, my last, PHEW.

Song lyric of the day:
It's just emotion that's taken me over
Tied up in sorrow, lost in my soul
But if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
You know that there'll be nobody left in this world to hold me tight
Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight

Goodnight, goodnight
(by Samantha Sang and the Brother Gibb, it makes me want to rollerskate so bad I can barely stand it)

Happy moment of the day: the barista (who is normally a disturbingly chipper person) at the grocery store here in Brookings was in a foul mood today. It was awesome. I overheard her bitching to her co-worker about her drive from Sioux Falls to Brookings last night. It took her 2 1/2 hours to get back here, same time I was on the road. We bonded.

Happy moment of the day part deux: my boss came in today (he does my commute) turns out the roads are still evil. Ha, for once I made the wise choice by chickening out. Now we'll see if I have to don Walmart clothes another day. I best be able to get outta here.

No comments: