TC is My Homeboy

Lately, I've been taking a count of how many times, and from what walks of life, people hawk up and shoot giant flem globbers out of their gobs. Today, so far, thrice, one a worker/construction dude, one a hipster. Yesterday, four times, two suits, one gangsta, one average guy. SERIOUSLY. That is effin' Ga-Rooosss. I have a dog and that is why I am very particular about where I walk her. VERY. What's wrong with people?

Also, and I know this is trivial, but sometimes I just want people to get out of my way. Last night, I missed a train at Canal because this couple in front of me had to walk veeerrrryyyy slow. I missed it by a hair. MOVE OUTTA MY WAY! Now, it doesnt' take a fly (who I guess have lots of eyes or somethin') or a lizard (lots of those dinosaur-descendants have very flexible eyes) to know (or, see) that someone is walking close to you and up on you. Step aside, let said person pass. How do these people get to where they need to go in a reasonable amount of time? Or, do they just build their sloth-like transportation skills into their allotted commute time? Dunno. What I do know is that I would greatly appreciate it if they would just MOVE. Pretty soon I'm going to start tasering people. Double true.

I went to bed early last night. But, not before I watched part two of the Tom (his friends like ugly Jada Smith and her hubby call him "TC") Cruise interview on Oprah. I was curious in that car crash must look sorta way. It was boring. He was all best behavior and everyone was tonguing his crack. I prefer crazy, laughing inappropriately, pizzed-off TC to this button-down Mr. Nice Guy. I don't buy it. I ain't no schmo, yo. Still, Risky Biz is in my top ten films and there are others I like (Vanilla Sky, Eyes Wide Shut, Magnolia) and then there are the vast majority of his films that either irritated me in general (Rain Main, Born on the Fourth of July) and those that flat out made me irate that people liked at all (Jerry McGuire, Top Gun, Color of Money, Cocktail, et. al).

Enough of that rant. I'll be sure to keep my big yapper shut when I'm over at TC and Katie's pad this weekend, slaughtering the sacrificial alien all in the name of Scientology and admiring the wonderful view from their billion dollar Telluride CO home. (I watched that part of the interview too. The best Oprah quote was when she got the tour from TC and saw his kitchen and said "Oh, this is so kitcheney." In typical Oprah oratory greatness, she repeated it twice for emphasis. I wanted to reach through the g-d TV and exclaim: "That's because it IS a kitchen Oprah!" Duh.)